I think I’m going to start looking for one and I mean completely new. New town, new state possibly and possibly a new boyfriend because at this rate we’re going at, we’re not going to make it much longer.

(Note to self, get job, pay off own shit and cockblock the WII when we do break up. )

Anyway, I’m just tired of what I’m living right now and quite frankly, as of late , the only parts I enjoy are times spent working out. I rarely enjoy time with my boyfriend because it’s usually spent of him talking about hisself, his friends, his work and why what I think is stupid*.

* -Totally ignoring the fact that I GOT him his job and that my i.q number is much much higher than his and that I’m capable of taking all the necessary tests of going to college.

Also, ignoring the fact that he has to have everything I say validated by his mommy. Let’s remove the tit already honey.

off to look for new life……

It hasn’t been this short in quite sometime, I remember cutting it to the middle of my ears in 7th grade and the next era that I remember my hair being somewhat long was when I was in 10th grade. That was definitely longer than this. So, I’m assuming with trims and what not, my hair was about 16-19 inches, it got to 24 inches and kinda of stalled out but then again, I wasn’t really taking good care of it because I’m so damned picky about who cuts my hair. But I’ll drag myself into a place for regular trims every 3 to 4 months now and deal with it. I’m also going to pony up some cash on some good hair clippers, I can’t afford the 100 dollar to 150 dollar range but I won’t be buying mine from Wal-Mart no more.

*Crosses fingers that hair is close to where it was by next year. *

I got a hair cut today and I wasn’t paying attention to what I said and caused a disaster. So not the girl’s fault but my fault only, I told her one inch down from the tops of my shoulders, I meant cut an inch off the back but instead 8 inches have been cut off and I feel like poop. I was going to get some other stuff at Wal-Mart but I felt sick to my stomach and had to come home.

I feel like dying.

Johnny still can’t walk, he’s shown some signs of movement with his tail and one of his legs - rather he’s doing that or if it’s a muscle spasm is beyond me, I’m no expert in this field.

I’m suppose to take him back to the vet Thursday, I may just talk to them over the phone because we’re quickly running low on funds so I wouldn’t be able to pay them anyway. I may see if they can at least give me some more meds or something for him to see if that will help. Maybe it’s going to take some time, I don’t know, I’ve never had a dog do this with me before.

In other news, I gained half a lb, not bad but that was in the course of a week but shows how quickly you can put on weight when you’re not paying attention to what you’re eating. I was paying attention but I wasn’t being strict enough, this week I intend to stay more within my ranges and be more strict with my diet. I curved myself this afternoon from possible overload, I had told my boyfriend to get me a fish combo from Stars( sorta like Sonic ) but I changed my mind 2 minutes later and told him to just get my ruler and I’d be happy.

I found this site a while back and never really utilized it till last night, I’m going to do all the lessons that are on the page. One lesson a day I think would be best till I understand some of the art elements a bit more, I know when I was a lot younger I could draw fairly well and copy what my grandfather had drawn but then I ended up getting more and more teachers that were more about expanding my written creativity and hampered my artistic creativity. So right now, if I really tried, I could probably write a fairly good novel but that’s not really what I want to do right now, maybe when I’m 50 . Right now, I want to draw so bad, draw and lose weight are my goals this year! Ha!

Anyway, the site that I found is called drawspace.com is absolutely fantastic, well written and of great detail which is especially important to myself as I’m a (re)start beginner. I also bought two books through ebay by Betty Edwards. And I know from past experience with The New Drawing on the Right Side of The Brain, I did fairly well and I’m confident my drawing abilities will improve greatly over the coming months as will my weight.

And it’s awesome, almost makes up for the fact that Wal-Mart.com sucks. Word of advice for using them fucks, USE A SHOPPING CARD so that there is no issues with your bank wanting to verify that it’s you spending the money!

Anyway, I love the fact that I can change the logo on it, I know that’s silly but I just think it rocks and I’ve found out that I burn more calories than I thought, I figured it’d be a bit more but damn what a difference!

No the two aren’t joining forces.

We got AT&T DSL yesterday and even though the speed is the same as clearwire’s that we have, the dsl is delivering a much better performance than what clearwire ever did with Halo 3.

There hasn’t been any weird ass ghosting, just a few times but that’s been because that person’s connection has sucked!

Now to talk about Wal-Mart, I ordered a heart monitor through their website a few days ago and paid the extra fourteen dollars to have it here quick. Well, it’s still not here and I don’t blame Wal-Mart for that. You see, I used my boyfriend’s credit card to purchase it and well, his bank water the charged verified with him on the line, I knew nothing of it until yesterday. I happened to check the email I set up specifically for online blah blah for R.

Well, Wal-Mart had sent a letter stating that I needed to contact them or my order was going to be canceled. Well low and behold, come to find out, for some odd reason Wal-Mart called his mom’s house and one of the ladies there answered the phone. THEY NEVER told him  about it, so therefor, I never knew about it.

So, I’m aggravated with his mom and sis right now because they failed to deliver this message to him. If it was something that didn’t have 130 dollars tied to it, I wouldn’t of cared but HELLO! I almost lost my f!!!ing order because of this!

I do blame Wal-Mart for NOT CALLING the number that I listed for shipping and billing which was his CELL PHONE! Had they called that, I would have known sooner and my stuff would probably already be here, as is because of both of these f!ck ups, I have to wait longer now.

Weight Loss:
I didn’t lose any weight last week but I know why, I’ve been slacking off but I didn’t gain any either. So, i’m happy for that but now this week is to get back into gear and start doing what I’ve been doing. I will lose 15 lbs by April 15th and I will win the challenge  on one of my sparkpeople teams.

This week resolutions:
Drink my water.
30 minutes of exercise for Tuesday thru Saturday.
Keep my ranges in the right area.
Cook more at home and quit going out to eat.

We’re shipping the computer off to be fixed but there’s still a chance that they call and tell us that we might have to pay for it. Depending on the price, I may tell ‘em go ahead and here’s the money or I may tell ‘em ship it back unfixed and I’ll buy a new one.

If I have to opt for a new one, I’ll probably put like 200 dollars back in savings and then combine that with the 600 to buy a new computer or laptop, probably a desktop because I don’t want to come home and find my laptop in my boyfriend’s lap in the bedroom. I don’t like staying my bedroom to do my computer stuff, it bugs me now. It’s very unproductive for sleep when we have it in there, plus, it’s usually colder in there than in the living room anyways.

I also weighed yesterday, I’m down 2.5 lbs, making that a total of 10 lbs down in little over a month’s time, maybe more considering I was using a scale that couldn’t handle my fat. Damn, I hate saying that but it’s the truth, I was too big for my scale and right now, my weight is still too big for some of the workout equipment you can buy from stores for fairly reasonable prices.

We won’t discuss why, it just pisses me off each time I think of it. ANyways, I have to share with my mother yet again on the computer time. BLAH! I get my income tax in shortly so I’m probably going to put some back in a savings account of my own and then include the 600 to it as well, then save until I have enough to buy an expensive ass Dell computer. I’m considering getting another job so I can speed this process up because I hate that gateway, I’ve had more problems from it in less than two years than I did with the dell in 8 or 9 years, maybe longer, I don’t remember when it was we first started renting the thing from Rent A Center.

Anyways, on the weight loss front, i don’t know what tomorrow is going to look like, last week was horrible for me. I weighed about an hour ago just to see what it says, 281.5 which is after a day of eating and drinking water and what not, so that’s only a 1.5 lb difference from the last time I weighed during the morning with no food nor liquids in my system. So, maybe I’m down a few lbs, I hope so, I also measured my waist, down .5 I believe or an inch. So apparently I’m doing something right or I’m getting awful damn lucky.

I’ve been pretty much staying within my ranges, a few days I accidentally go over because of poor choices. But I’m really trying this time and I guess it’s starting to pay off, even though it’s been a short amount of time but mom mentioned my hair looked shiny today, she hasn’t said that since I was a kid.

Of course, maybe that also has to do with I don’t dye my hair no more, even though I have a bottle of black hair dye in my room , I have no intentions of using it.

But I’ve been eating more vegetables and fruits and have been cutting out a lot of junk food, I don’t need. I haven’t had a hamburger in like two weeks! That’s a damn amazing thing, since Stars (poor man’s Sonic here in Odessa,Texas) has .99 cent burgers on 3 days a week! We use to buy those all the time, sometimes 6 at a time - 3 for me, 3 for my boyfriend! Now I can’t even imagine to eat like that, hell the idea of frying stuff weirds me out now. I have no choice when it comes to my turkey burgers because I don’t have a grill and my uncle has used his bbq pit for burning copper, so that’s out of the damn question!

Like another girl on SparkPeople.com, some of the foods that have made me fat, I’m starting to hate because I know what it did to me, even though I’m the one that willingly stuffed the food down my throat!

And in trying to lose the weight, I’ve been going outside more and I captured this little fellow talking shit to me and my mom at the UTPB trails.

prairie dog

Add to My Profile | More Videos

I’m fat, okay, I know that but damn, I didn’t realize I looked like an oompa loompa with a turkey neck and hulk hogans forehead! Man, I need to get this weight off for good before I look like the Tire Michelin boy or the stay puffed marshmallow man.

Week 4 Picture